Rapid Reality

It occurred to me today how quickly your "reality" can change.  It wasn't even two weeks ago that the idea of breast cancer wouldn't have even slipped into my realm of reality.  It took me a few days of feeling like I was in the worst April fools joke ever, but now I can say it is entrenched in my current reality, and will be a part of my forever story.  I know that I will be a survivor, and that will become a part of my reality too, someday.  Right now I am willing myself to just get there.

This morning I had my MRI.  Sorry, no news on the results yet.  They said it would be 4-5 days for the report, but my doctor could call the radiologist if they needed it sooner.  I don't know if they will call or not, and even if they do if they will tell me.  Since my PET scan is tomorrow, I'm hoping that I will get those results about the same time.

Speaking of the MRI- talk about an awful test.  I knew I would be placed in the tiny tube, and also knew that the machine was very loud.  What I didn't know what that this was an MRI with contrast (so they had to give me an IV with some lovely drugs in it- I frankly don't keep track at this point), and I really didn't know that I would feel the magnetic pulses.  Apparently I'm strange in this experience (both Nick and my mom have had MRIs and didn't feel it like I did).  I can only describe it as a similar feeling to using one of those electrode machines that pulsates your muscles.  At certain points during the MRI I felt these sort of muscle spasms in my lower back.  They didn't last long, but there was usually one big pulse and a couple of smaller ones following it.  It definitely freaked me out.  It also felt like the longest 4, 5 and 6 minutes ever.

I can only imagine that this MRI will be the least of my concerns very soon.  Chemo has to be worse than an MRI right?  But is it worse than pregnancy, labor and deliver?  Probably...  Finding out I was pregnant was probably the only other instant reality change that I've experienced in my life so far.  One minute I was just Karey, the next I was going to be a mom.  Now I'm becoming a Breast Cancer Survivor.  I think I liked the other reality change a ton more.