Monday, July 22, 2013

Three years old!

My dearest Isabella,

Tomorrow you turn three. I can't even begin to wrap my brain around
the fact that you, my sweet baby girl, are three years old.

You are magic. Don't ever forget that.

You amaze me every single day. Some days it is your persistence that
does it. Some days you are the funniest person I know. Often you show
me your incredibly kind, thoughtful and generous heart and spirit.

I think most parents think their kid is the best. Even with that said,
I am (sadly) still hyper critical of everything and everyone around
me. So when I say this, I hope you know it to be true. You are smart,
and strong, and kind, and funny. I love you like crazy but what is
even cooler is that I like you. I love watching you grow up and into
yourself because you are such a delight to be around.

Ok, yes, you are still three and the last year of two has been
challenging at times. But often the challenge is that you know your
mind and are uninterested in doing things my way. Even in those most
frustrating moments, I often (internally) applaud you for your
persistence, determination and fortitude in opinion. I genuinely feel
lucky to be your mom.

Right now you love all things princess- nothing earth shattering
there. You love your books, swimming (all things water really),
animals, fashion, music (make it loud with a good beat, just like
daddy), and yes, shopping. Best of all, you love your family.

Your favorite food is sushi (crab, unagi and tobiko), followed by
pesto pasta probably. You currently LOVE chocolate but still like
vanilla too. You are so smart there is no sneaking things past you. So
that whole "hiding" healthy foods in treats business- can't pull one
over on you!

You love your baby brother. Maybe don't love how much attention he
takes, but all else aside you can't wait till he is up and running
with you. Your cousin Mia is your very best friend, and I can get you
to do almost anything if it means you can see her! You two get so
silly together.

My sweet Bella-boo, you are the most magical person I've ever met.
There is a sweetness and a strength inside you that shines through
like a beacon. Thank you for choosing us and letting me share your
life.

I love you,

Mommy

Monday, July 15, 2013

Far more eloquent than I

I follow a blog called "Scary Mommy". It is often about the "reality" of motherhood- warts and all. The original Scary Mommy posts about half the time, and the other half she brings in guests bloggers. Today's guest blogger really struck a chord with me. She suffers from OCD, anxiety and depression and has since she was a child. I don't have OCD- no rituals that I must follow. However, the anxiety and depression she describes I can very much relate to. Although the fiery crash in my head won't occur because of something I have or haven't done, it's still there taking real estate in my brain.

I've had a number of conversations with friends and family who try to understand me and why I do what I do. This blog puts it far more eloquently than I've been able to so I wanted to share it here.