Blessings

I am feeling very blessed today and wanted to share.  This past weekend I met a new cousin. No, it isn't a new baby... My mom was not raised by her biological father, and never knew him. We always knew that. In 2012 my mom found an older half brother she knew existed from her biological father. He told her she had two more younger half sisters from their father. She met them later that year. It was instant family for them. They both have kids, and so my "new" cousins. I haven't had any opportunity to meet any of this family until this weekend. My cousin Amie is engaged to a Harlem globetrotter and joined him for a weekend here on the west coast. We got to see Nate do his thing on the court (quite a show- you should really check them out, it was so much fun), and most importantly spent two days visiting with Amie. Just as it was for my mom with her sisters, it was instant  family. A reminder of how sweet life can be.

My poor kiddos got run down in the process of no naps and lots of activities so now we are dealing with the aftermath of a cold/flu. But we are all happy despite that. Trying to get well quickly since this weekend is another big one! My niece Mia turns 5 this weekend and is being surprised with a weekend celebration at Disneyland! (If you happen to see her, remember- its a surprise! Don't mention it!)

Just reminders of how blessed I truly am. Life may be challenging, and certainly not what I expected, but even in the dark you can see the stars if you're willing to look.

Happy New Year! 2014

Onward and upward is my motto for this year.  Many changes on the horizon and a lot of work to get through them.  I am hopeful that this time next year my life will look significantly different, and hopefully all for the better.  First on the agenda, a month of health.  I am working on a pre-operative diet and exercise regime to prepare my body for my reconstructive surgery.  We are tentatively looking at a date in mid-February so I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.  I need to strengthen my core muscles, and limit any inflammation present in my body.  I also need to wean Gio.  Immediately.  The expectation is that we will be lifting my left side to better match my right at the same time.  In order for that to happen, I cannot have any milk left in it.  Tonight was the first attempt at giving him regular milk without me present for bedtime.  I'm sure it will be fine.  He goes down for others just fine though usually does get some pumped milk.  The real challenge will be weaning him around me.  He doesn't need milk around anyone else, but melts down if he's tired or otherwise needing comfort and isn't given milk with me.

And all that just gets us into February!  Then it will be a long recover process.  Five days in the hospital and a minimum of six weeks recovery at home.  Sounds like full recovery will likely take more like three months.  There apparently may be additional "clean up" outpatient surgeries down the road too.  Fingers crossed that won't be the case.

After that?  Who knows!  I have a lot of hopes for this next year.  I do know it involves dance class for Bella, more preschool, finding some activities for Gio, lots more outdoors and nature play for both kids.  Trips to the zoo and the discovery museum, days at the parks and walks around the neighborhood.

I am setting the intention to find myself this year.  I need more music and performance in my life.  I need to find something regular and structured and productive to do with myself even just a day or two a week outside of raising my children.  I need these things to present themselves to me in a way that I can easily see them and take advantage of the opportunities.  I intend to heal some old hurts, even just a little, and find some more happiness in the small every day moments.

Most importantly I intend to see the world through my children's joyful eyes.  They are magnificent and see the world as such.  I am so lucky to have them and hope to remember that every day.