distractions?

I'm currently busy planning Nick's 30th birthday party.  The truth is that Nick doesn't care of about his birthdays generally speaking.  If it is an excuse to have some fun, he is all good with that, but the actual birthday celebration isn't so important.  I on the other hand love birthdays.  I love to celebrate them and use them as an excuse for an extra good time.  A milestone birthday is an even bigger call for celebration!

So I have busied myself over the last few weeks planning for the big party for Nick.  It's been a good distraction for me.  I get to be creative and have tasks to accomplish.

It does bring up the issue for me of overdoing it.  Every day I have to see how much energy I have (usually directly related to how much sleep I got the night before) and then decide what I can accomplish.  Usually I have at least one thing scheduled already.  The last several days I've been pretty scheduled and then had additional things come up that have made the days long.  Today was supposed to be an easy day, but an unexpected two hour visit to the bank sort of changed that (more on that tomorrow- it was a good thing I promise).

Always in the back of my mind I think "is it okay that I didn't nap today" or "will this put me at risk to get sick" or other similar thoughts.  My social worker tells me not to worry about it, that it is better to push past the fatigue.  I think on Monday I will have a heart to heart with my oncologist about this very topic.  If my labs and everything still look good, I suspect she will agree with my social worker.  But having never had cancer before- I wouldn't know! =)

Regardless, I'm doing well.  I'm confident the tumor is continuing to shrink just like it did after the first treatment.  I can really feel the difference this time with full confidence.  So, truthfully, nothing else matters!