Re-Acclimating

A full week down of no cancer treatments.  It's been pretty great.  I've jumped straight into being a full time mommy again.  It has been wonderful (albeit exhausting).  Bella is the most wonderful little person and I am so blessed to watch her develop every day.  I took a few hours to spend time with my girlfriend Angela and her wonderful new baby girl, which reminded me even more how much I love being a mommy.  I had a girls dinner with two of my closest girlfriends and our moms.  Most importantly, I've spent time just being, and enjoying discovering what life is going to look like on the other side of the big C.

Tuesday, I was grateful for the freedom to just be.  I keep trying to do all the time, to "catch up" with things that have fallen by the wayside over the last many months.  Tuesday was a day of changing my mind to accommodate how I was feeling in the moment.  And that felt very luxurious.

Wednesday I was grateful to be a mommy.  As much as I am grateful to be Isabella's mommy, spending time with my friends three week old baby girl showed me how deeply my momminess has filled into my being.  I appreciate the sweetness, and amazing possibilities of babies and children now on such a profound level.  I can hold a crying baby and not think "oh my gosh, what am I doing wrong?  How do I stop/fix/help this?"  I can sit in the moment and know that sometimes babies cry, and just need to be held a little bit longer, or cuddled a little bit more securely.  That's pretty awesome.  And I do mean full of awe. =)

Today I am grateful for girlfriends.  I had a good chunk of my young adult life where girlfriends were hard to come by.  I struggled as my high school friends and I grew apart and I had yet to connect with new friends in my adult life.  Today I reflected on the many close girlfriends I have in my life, both old and new, who I get to share my life with.  As we start families and get married and work in the theatre, we get to support each other the way only girlfriends can, share in each others successes, and lift each other out of the dark.  Even luckier, I get to count the women in my family as girlfriends too.  Totally blessed.