I wanted to post yesterday but didn't get on my computer and posting from my phone is less than ideal. Of course I'm posting from my phone now so it will be a quick one!
So far I can say the taxol is much easier on my body than the A/C treatment was. I haven't needed a single anti-nausea med and my energy has been better. I even went to two grocery stores yesterday without feeling totally wiped out after. I'm still tired but not in the same overly drugged way that I was before. I am experiencing some bone pain today though which could be the chemo or the shot to boost my white blood cells. I'm hoping it's the shot and not the chemo, because the chemo could have a more permanent effect.
Regardless I'm mentally more ready to face these next five and a half weeks of chemo. As I'm sure you could tell, I was having a very difficult time over the last couple of weeks. The fact of the matter is that I am fighting cancer, and brave face or not, it is hard. People keep telling me I'm putting on a brave face. I don't really see it that way, since I'm not trying to hide my fears or insecurities, but just forging ahead, because really- what choice do I have? But I can tell you now, this is not always easy. I get worn down and tired both physically and mentally. At the end of the day though, I'm beating this. It will eventually be a hazy story I tell of how I survived. In the meantime I will share my journey and try to be honest about it. Today this feels both simple and hard. I know there are many of you out there reading and I am grateful to have you surrounding me as I walk through this fire.
When my father gets the shots that boost your white blood cell count, his bones hurt him too. From what I've been told, it's your bones aching because the marrow is working over time. I consider you brave because you are facing this in all it's honesty. There are a lot of people I know- family included in this- that I've talked to briefly about what's going on with my father and they shut down. They 'can't deal'. You on the other hand share your good days, your bad, your tough times your good times. It's amazing and inspiring and shows us that if you can deal with this horrible disease, so can we. So keep it up! Keep sharing because I can't speak for everyone but it helps me.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
-jenny