As I have new appointments and treatments, I keep adding doctors to my team! Today I met with a new member of my team, the Radiation Oncologist. I will be undergoing radiation treatment as the final piece in my process (at least based on what we know right now). Dr. Halberg is my new doctor and will manage my care (along with my surgeon who I met with first, and my plastic surgeon who will manage my reconstruction) from here on. She was very kind and enthusiastic in her care. I will have 28-30 treatments which will start in about one month (once I've really healed from surgery). If my calculations are correct, I will be done before the end of October. That's what I always sort of held in the back of my mind but then knew there was a possibility with timing that I could be pushed into mid-November. I think the end of October is my far end though.
Other than that I'm healing well and starting to feel a bit more "up" physically speaking. I even spent a good chunk of the day out of the house today. I still can't lift anything (most specifically Isabella) because I still have one drain in. As quickly as that first drain came out, this second drain is just hanging on. They are looking for a certain amount of fluid or less each day for a minimum of three days. I'm so close to that amount, but I've been sitting at the same quantity (more or less) from the beginning. There just doesn't seem to be much change. I'm just reminding myself that it is better than having it accumulate inside me. In my doctors words- at least it is draining. Hopefully early next week at the latest.
I'm also starting to do a little more emotional processing as I am less occupied with my physical healing. It is day to day with how I feel. The fact remains that mortality goes hand in hand with the diagnosis of cancer and everything with it. As I reach the end of my own treatment, I can't help but think about the many woman who go through this more than once, and frequently succumb to the disease eventually. I hold strong faith that this was a freakish one off experience for me. However, the doubts tell me that so many women have their cancer recur and usually when it does come back, it is harder to treat. For some reason I just keep thinking, even if I live 10, 20, heck even 30 years beyond this disease, I would still be dieing very young. Thirty years from now I will only be 59 years old! I'm realizing that I definitely need to get some true help and support (professional and from those who know personally) to deal with the reality of what I'm facing. Cancer will always be a part of my story from here forward and somehow, I am going to have to come to grips with that.
Onward and upward right?
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