Struggling today

I've had a number of emotional triggers come up for me recently. Today they seem to be compounding, leaving me feeling depleted and heartachey. As with any major transition in life, I'm experiencing the migration of relationships. When you get into a serious relationship, like marriage, you tend to have other "couple" friends. Then you have kids, and it may change again. Now, as I walk through this process of separating out my life to be my own again, without a partner, I'm finding some relationships are newly important, while others fall by the wayside. None of this surprises me and I'm mostly okay with these transitions. Still, it hurts to let people go. I can't help but wonder why I'm not being reached out to, or invited to things, or even worse why some people have elected to just stop being in my life altogether. How it could be that any of these people, who know the story of what happened to my marriage, could choose to keep him in their lives while cutting me out. It feels like one more loss on top so many others.

Speaking of loss, I'm fairly certain we will be selling the house. The market is really hot, so most likely it will sell for an outstanding price. The main issue will be getting into something else once I do. But I am looking to downsize into a better school district which will be good for the kids. And it will be only mine. There wont be any ghosts of cancer, a failed marriage, or people no longer here. I can start from scratch and take true ownership of my space. Make it my sacred, healing, wonderful, home.

So friends, picture me and my babies in a lovely, warm home, after an easy transition.