Today is the third day I've spent in bed. I apparently have some throat infection and a sinus infection. Now that I'm on antibiotics I'm hoping I'll feel better soon. It threw a major wrench in my plans however. I had a concert to go to tonight, and then was taking the kids camping for the weekend. I was really excited for all of it. Feeling like the end of my marriage wasn't the end of my life.
Instead, laying here by myself, I am just so sad. A year ago my house would have been filled with the sounds and smells of a family. My mom probably would have made soup, the kids would have been running around playing. Nick would have been attempting to wear them out for bedtime with a dance party. I would have likely been grumpy because I just wanted some peace and quiet so I could rest and feel better. Well, I have my peace and quiet, and I'd gladly take back my family. Clearly not as it was. We were broken. But what it could have been. I know it hasn't been that long, but I don't do alone very well. I miss living with a family. People to share your life with. People who are concerned if you slept all day and ate nothing. I don't know at what point our society decided that single family homes were the way to go, but it definitely does not work for me. I want a compound with people I can count on,and who can count on me. Where there is love, and noise, and craziness. Peace and quiet has its time and place but love and laughter will heal me faster.
Instead, laying here by myself, I am just so sad. A year ago my house would have been filled with the sounds and smells of a family. My mom probably would have made soup, the kids would have been running around playing. Nick would have been attempting to wear them out for bedtime with a dance party. I would have likely been grumpy because I just wanted some peace and quiet so I could rest and feel better. Well, I have my peace and quiet, and I'd gladly take back my family. Clearly not as it was. We were broken. But what it could have been. I know it hasn't been that long, but I don't do alone very well. I miss living with a family. People to share your life with. People who are concerned if you slept all day and ate nothing. I don't know at what point our society decided that single family homes were the way to go, but it definitely does not work for me. I want a compound with people I can count on,and who can count on me. Where there is love, and noise, and craziness. Peace and quiet has its time and place but love and laughter will heal me faster.
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