Well it has been quite an eventful few weeks. I still owe you a Disneyland post (its coming I promise!) but have some other things on my mind at the moment. I've become nakedly aware that my biggest set of insecurity buttons relate to feeling included, loved, valued and worthwhile. The place that these issues most frequently arise for me are around friendship.
I've always struggled making friends. I'm painfully shy and deal with extreme social anxiety. Once I'm confortable in a friendship I tend to be overly honest and have high expectations. As you can imagine that can often cause me issues in keeping those friendships. To top all of that off with this crazy phase of life I'm living in, I'm not great at staying active with my friends, leaving yet another gap.
Well some of these buttons have been pushed over the last few days and I'm sitting here feeling like I've been kicked out of another club. (Side story I was actually kicked out of a club my friends formed in the 5th or 6th grade, followed a few months later with an "I hate Karey" club... Yeah, you can say I have issues.)
So what do you do when you feel like you've been discarded or forgotten? And when those who are still active in your life, you're struggling to be a good friend to them?
I don't have any answers, just a whole lot of questions.
I know something in my life has to shift. I just don't know what or how. I also know I need to find my way back to my best friend - my husband. Having two littles has definitely done a number on our ability to be present for and with one another. The love is there, I'm hoping the time will avail itself soon. :)
I'm also hoping that at least some of the lost friendships prove to be figments of my imagination. It has been known to happen.
I've always struggled making friends. I'm painfully shy and deal with extreme social anxiety. Once I'm confortable in a friendship I tend to be overly honest and have high expectations. As you can imagine that can often cause me issues in keeping those friendships. To top all of that off with this crazy phase of life I'm living in, I'm not great at staying active with my friends, leaving yet another gap.
Well some of these buttons have been pushed over the last few days and I'm sitting here feeling like I've been kicked out of another club. (Side story I was actually kicked out of a club my friends formed in the 5th or 6th grade, followed a few months later with an "I hate Karey" club... Yeah, you can say I have issues.)
So what do you do when you feel like you've been discarded or forgotten? And when those who are still active in your life, you're struggling to be a good friend to them?
I don't have any answers, just a whole lot of questions.
I know something in my life has to shift. I just don't know what or how. I also know I need to find my way back to my best friend - my husband. Having two littles has definitely done a number on our ability to be present for and with one another. The love is there, I'm hoping the time will avail itself soon. :)
I'm also hoping that at least some of the lost friendships prove to be figments of my imagination. It has been known to happen.
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