I just came across this article about a large woman doing a 30 day love yourself challenge. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3943938/
This is a topic I've been pondering quite a bit lately. As a large woman myself, I experience a great deal of body shame. I avoid mirrors and hate clothes shopping. I fully admit that I let motherhood be my excuse to care little about my appearance. Who has the time when some grimy little person is just going to cover you in something in five minutes anyhow?
The truth is though that it is just an excuse. I haven't loved my body ever. And since becoming an actually large woman (unlike simply thinking I was which was the case when I was younger) I have increasingly bought into the societal belief that my body makes me bad.
It makes me bad in many ways. The first and most obvious being that I am not sexy or attractive. (Having the affection of a partner doesn't dispel this since he fell in love with me when I was skinny.) I am less of a desirable friend because I can't (don't enjoy) partake in the long held tradition of shopping together. First because I don't enjoy trying on clothes, but even if I get over that, I can't shop in the same departments or stores as my more petite friends. I am less of a desirable performer because most roles for large women require a) ethnicity b) age or c) a large belty voice. I have none of those and no one wants an ingénue in a fat girls body. Apparently its not believable that a fat girl would be the object of affection.
I'm sure I could come up with many other reasons why my body makes me a lesser citizen of planet earth. I'll leave you with these three examples though.
On the flip side my body is AMAZING. It has grown and birthed two healthy beautiful children. It provided some milk for one and complete sustenance for the other. It sustained me with little ill effect through a barrage of cancer treatments ultimately ending cancer free. True it allowed the cancer to take hold in the first place but I digress. If these things don't make my body good, I don't know what does.
I continue to work towards loving my body and "being beautiful". Until then I will remind myself of the strength of my body's miracles.
This is a topic I've been pondering quite a bit lately. As a large woman myself, I experience a great deal of body shame. I avoid mirrors and hate clothes shopping. I fully admit that I let motherhood be my excuse to care little about my appearance. Who has the time when some grimy little person is just going to cover you in something in five minutes anyhow?
The truth is though that it is just an excuse. I haven't loved my body ever. And since becoming an actually large woman (unlike simply thinking I was which was the case when I was younger) I have increasingly bought into the societal belief that my body makes me bad.
It makes me bad in many ways. The first and most obvious being that I am not sexy or attractive. (Having the affection of a partner doesn't dispel this since he fell in love with me when I was skinny.) I am less of a desirable friend because I can't (don't enjoy) partake in the long held tradition of shopping together. First because I don't enjoy trying on clothes, but even if I get over that, I can't shop in the same departments or stores as my more petite friends. I am less of a desirable performer because most roles for large women require a) ethnicity b) age or c) a large belty voice. I have none of those and no one wants an ingénue in a fat girls body. Apparently its not believable that a fat girl would be the object of affection.
I'm sure I could come up with many other reasons why my body makes me a lesser citizen of planet earth. I'll leave you with these three examples though.
On the flip side my body is AMAZING. It has grown and birthed two healthy beautiful children. It provided some milk for one and complete sustenance for the other. It sustained me with little ill effect through a barrage of cancer treatments ultimately ending cancer free. True it allowed the cancer to take hold in the first place but I digress. If these things don't make my body good, I don't know what does.
I continue to work towards loving my body and "being beautiful". Until then I will remind myself of the strength of my body's miracles.
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