Settling in

It's been a crazy ride to say the least.  Week one was full of the euphoria of our baby girl.  Truly the sleep deprivation wasn't so bad (actually Isabella was sleeping quite well considering) and I was just completely in love with our little family.  Week two continued with the euphoria though was dampened by an unfortunate bladder infection.  I couldn't believe how badly I hurt (worse than the first week of recovery) and finally went to the doctor.  With Nick going back to work at the end of that week I needed to start feeling semi-functional so that I could take care of Isabella on my own!  I went to the doctor and she said everything was healing great, but it turned out I had a bladder infection.  So a week of antibiotics it was, and I started back on the road to recovery.

So here we are, week three.  It has been admittedly tough.  Nick went back to work last Friday, so this was my first week on my own.  Murphy's law, it is also when Isabella decided that she needed to start eating constantly.  Tuesday I lost it.  I hadn't gotten much sleep for two straight nights and couldn't stop crying.  I called my mom and when she asked me how I was, I couldn't even get it out without bawling.  So lucky me, my mom came over to help me.  There wasn't a lot of "help" that I needed, but just having someone else there that loves my little girl as much as I do makes it much easier to manage.  My sister also came to visit (and brought flowers knowing I was having a tough day) and my dad came too as he was running an errand with my sister.  It was probably the first time since my parents divorce that the four of us were in one room together without it being a larger event with many more people.  It was actually really nice and reminded me of the way my family once was.

So I recovered from Tuesday and managed well on Wednesday.  I even went out to lunch with my sister and niece!  Of course I was so wiped out from the outing that I spent Thursday mostly in bed with Bella relaxing.  It was a good day and I had hope that perhaps her growth spurt, or whatever neediness was going on, might be over.  No such luck.  Last night she woke up at the appropriate interval around 4:30am.  I fed her and thought surely I'd be going back to sleep.  Ha!  Not quite.  Isabella decided she needed to eat essentially for two hours straight.  Yep come 6:30 I was thinking we were in a whole heap of hurt.  But then she fell asleep finally and I thought just maybe we could sleep in.  Sadly, the pattern continued for the rest of the day.  Isabella didn't go more than 2 hours without eating until our last feeding around 7pm.  I tried to nap, and got a couple of breaks, but not enough.  By the time Nick got home I was in tears again.  He took her so that I could take a shower.  Then I fed her and the two of them went to the bedroom for a nap.  Go figure, it has now been 2.5 hours and he's getting the good nap!

Since I couldn't quite nap again I decided to try and do something to make me feel "normal".  I cleaned the kitchen and cooked dinner.  I don't think I've ever enjoyed those tasks as much as I did tonight.

Now I am bracing myself for another long night.  Who knows, she could surprise me.  I may go wake her up soon to make sure she isn't starting the night out super hungry.  I have been given the advice to feed more frequently during the day to ensure a longer break at night, so I may try to keep up with that.  I wish I had been able to sleep when Nick laid down with her, but my mental health is probably better having done some "normal" activities.

I'll try to keep up with my blog a little better, but as you can imagine, when you have a child attached to you constantly it is quite difficult to do just about anything.  I'm struggling just to make sure I eat during the day!  At the end of the day though, that little girl's smiles (whether it is gas or not!) warms my heart and I know it is worth it.  I just hope she starts sleeping a bit more soon! =)