Have you ever been kicked out of a family? Not disowned but just no longer included? I am experiencing that now.
It is a really confusing experience. On the one hand, I have individual relationships with all of these people who I have loved for the last 16 plus years. I know that they love me and I love them. I am even still treated like family on an individual level- dinners together, some event invitations, and kind words spoken when together. But then there is the family at large experience. Because of the nature of the split between my ex and I, we can only attend events simultaneously if he does not bring his girlfriend (aka the woman he cheated on me with for nearly three years). As a result, what is happening, is I am no longer invited. He gets the initial invitation. We find out his plans- if he plans to attend, and if so is he bringing her. Once that is sorted out, I may get an invite.
This weekend his family planned a major reunion. It doesn't matter that I was a part of this family for 16 years. It doesn't matter that my children are actual members of this bloodline. I was not invited. I was catching up with his mom (as we have a great relationship) and she mentioned she would love it if the kids could be there. I have them for the weekend, so did I mind bringing them. I told her I would be happy to provided that he wasn't bringing her. (Though frankly part of me is ready to say eff it and say it is my weekend with the kids and if they want them there I will bring them. See how she handles being in my face with people who love me and disrespect her...) I said I was going to see him and would ask him if he planned to attend. He said he was. Safe to assume he was taking her. He is.
So now my ex mother in law has requested he bring our children. I get that and support them being with their (no longer our) family. And now I want to cry. Because I have officially been cut out of the family. Blood is thicker than water. He is theirs and always will be. I am not.
It hurts.
No comments:
Post a Comment