Crazy. Town.

That is my current home- Crazytown.  I'm not entirely sure why.  I keep hoping/ thinking that things are going to get easier.  In some ways- they do!  Gio is a very cool little boy.  So sweet and snuggly.  His reflux is basically gone from what I can tell, all of the meds have been ceased (though I will still use Zantac as needed as this is new).  But, he is also now teething, and eating, and hitting developmental milestone after milestone.  So he is very demanding.  He wants no one but me if he is tired or unhappy for some reason.  When it comes to bedtime, I'm it.  Meanwhile, Bella is her amazing self.  Such a sweet, kind, funny, smart person.  I really like her.  She is also asserting her independence a ton, which means tough moments for us, and also I think struggling with how much Gio still requires.  We are officially in the phase where the two of them are "fighting" for attention.  I'm constantly triaging their needs which often results in Gio screaming at me while Bella gets into trouble.  So I'm looking for other ways to deal.  Nick and I have determined that Bella needs one-on-one special time regularly now.  So hopefully this weekend we can schedule a Mommy and Bella date.

On top of all of this craziness with our day to day lives, I have several major project balls in the air.  We are looking to possibly refinance our house.  The market has gone crazy in the last 6-12 months and we think our value may be high enough that with a refinance we could drop our mortgage insurance.  This would be an awesome improvement for us.  We are also looking into getting solar panels to help us "get off the grid" (at least mostly).  Our electric bills have gone crazy in the last couple of years so for both financial and environmental reasons it is time to do something other than pay PG&E.  Additionally, we are going to sell the Corvette.  I know, I know.  It hasn't been that long and it is sad to see it go.  The truth is that we just simply don't have the time to put into the vehicle.  Classic cars always need tinkering, and really it should be properly garaged.  We don't have any of that to give.  So we will sell the Corvette and replace it with something modern, probably still convertible, but with a back seat that we can put car seats in as needed.  On top of all of that, I am checking out preschools for Bella to start in the fall.  Yes, Bella is going to preschool in the fall!  Very exciting.  However, choosing the "right" school is tricky business.  It's hard to know what is right for your kid and what will prepare them the best for the future- or even what that preparation looks like!

Anyhow, as you can see, I am crazy busy.  Hoping to find my own oxygen mask soon too.  I need something though I don't have any idea what that will be.  It's time though since I am melting down by Wednesday or Thursday each week.

I'll try to post soon about our trip that we took.  So many sweet moments with friends, family and of course- Disney!

Six months

Let's try this again...

Giancarlo Luca, my sweet boy, is six months today. We call him Gio for
short. He is a lover. He is so sweet and snugly. He pretty much always
wants to sleep snuggled up with me. His crooked smile lights up a room
with one dimple that will make your heart melt. His deep brown eyes
let you know quickly that he is a deep, old soul. I joke that he is a
big person in a small body, but the truth is- I'm serious. He is sweet
and gentle, but don't be fooled, he is quick to let you know when he
is displeased. He LOVES his big sister Bella, but will most certainly
not be steamrolled by her. I think they will grow up to be great
friends. He has started eating purees but I think won't be satisfied
until he gets real table food. He isn't crawling yet but can roll
across an entire room if he's motivated to get something. He can sit
up pretty well but tends to fall over still. He is teething like a
madman though no imminent sign of teeth yet.

I love this boy more and more every day. It's amazing how much I know
about this love from Bella, and how much I'm still learning about it
from Gio. These babies are my greatest challenge and a joy like I
never could have imagined. As I wrap my brain around the very real
possibility of being done having babies, I start to imagine what the
next phase might look like. With these two little people by our sides,
I think our future looks mighty bright.

Happy six months Gio. I love you more than words.

Struggling

I'm struggling today. Every little thing seems to be tripping me up
like it is a big deal. I feel raw, on edge, and irritable. Since I
woke up this way I'm going to assume it isn't real and just hormones/
lack of sleep/ the moon/ whatever... Frustrating though. I've managed
to offend my husband, hurt Bella's feelings, and upset myself. All
over... What? I don't know. I do know that I'm becoming increasingly
desperate for a community of people in a similar phase of life. One
where nick has friends, Bella has friends and I do too. And yet one of
the primary reasons that I wish this is also the reason it's hard to
come by- kids and sleep. Every schedule is different! Someday I will
have a life again that won't feel like so much work.

On another note- gio is six months old today!!!! How time flies. It
happened so fast!

First food!

A bit overdue but I wanted to share that our sweet boy has started
eating food! I was bound and determined to wait the full six months
recommended by breast feeding experts but he made it abundantly clear
that he was ready!

We started with some avocado. A good hearty (yet gentle) first food.
Followed that up with some sweet potato and today had some carrots.
The carrots are the clear winner so far.

He is also really showing his personality more and more every day. He
is sweet and funny and goofy. He is also very vocal and has a short
fuse. It will be interesting to see how it develops! He is super super
snugly so I hope that's in my favor.

I am falling more and more in love with this little boy every single
day. I am so blessed with both of my babies!

The Messy Truth

I know I've had down post after down post lately. Truth is, I'm in a crazy hard period of life. I'll survive- look around and you'll see loads of parents with grown children. A friend of mine posted this link on Facebook and I think it describes perfectly my state of being right now. Add to that cancer in the middle and that's my life. Sleep deprived, messy, lonely, crazy, beautiful life.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/una-lamarche/how-to-be-a-perfect-parent_b_2888253.html?utm_hp_ref=email_share

Enjoy!

What I love...

One of the blogs I follow posted from another blogs prompt today.  It was "What are three things you LOVE about yourself".  She didn't post anything crazy- simple things that anyone could easily name about themselves (well, similar, not specifically the same).  As I read it I realized, in this moment, I cannot name three things about myself that I love.  Like, sure, but not love.  That's a pretty sad statement.  Clearly, I have some work to do.

So readers- can you name three things about yourself that you LOVE.  I hope so.  I hope you can name more than that.  If you feel up to it, please share!

Trying again

Assuming no babies wake up needing me, I am stealing a moment to try and post a little update.  Boy does time fly when you're having... fun? =)

Bella is doing great.  She is so smart and sassy and funny.  She is really picking up on our language these days.  Don't get me wrong- she has been crazy verbal for a long time, but now she is starting to use our phrases, well beyond just funny little parrot moments.  Of course now that I'm trying to think of one I totally cannot.  She is just full of it though.  So much character and hilarity spilling out.  Can be challenging at times but ultimately she is such an awesome person, it is easy to forget those tough moments quickly.

Gio is getting more and more fun every day now too.  We had the reflux well under control for about 6 weeks now, well until this past week!  Now its rearing its ugly little head again and making my mostly hapoy boy, very unhappy.  He is working really hard at grabbing things and putting them in his mouth.  He is also rolling all over the place.  I can see it won't be long till this boy is cruising around.  He is already desperate to get a move on.  God willing he will hold off on crawling for me.  I'm not ready for that!  He isn't quite able to sit up on his own yet, but getting stronger and stronger.  Mostly he is just so interactive and fun.  He loves to laugh.  He enjoys music a ton, and thinks Bella is hilarious.  He's definitely a mama's boy at this point, but hey- I've got all the milk!  Hard to believe that he is already five months old!  (Okay in two days, but still!)

I am starting to see the light from the depths of newborn land.  I don't think I landed as deeply in crazytown as I did with Bella.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still certifiable, but not for the same mommy reasons.  Sleep deprived as I may be, I'm mostly getting by.  Struggling, yes, but looking to find "me" again, as opposed to worrying quite so desperately that I'm going to ruin my child.

Speaking of sleep deprivation, I'm hitting my nightly wall.  Pretty good since I didn't get my nap today!  And so, life goes on.