Serious Catch Up- Part 2 Preschool and Gios Birthday!

I realized I needed to split these posts up.  They were just going to be too massive in one.  I suppose the smart thing would have required writing individual posts, but c'est la vie.

After returning home from Disney, we hit the ground running and started straight in for Bella's preschool.  She goes two days a week for two and a half hours.  Fairly small amount of time but it has proven to be exactly perfect for her.  The school she goes to is strictly a school.  There is no day care or extended hours.  In fact, it is in a local recreation center, so they actually set up and take down each of the rooms every day.  There are usually 5-7 stations set up each day.  Always an art project that each child gets to rotate through with the teacher.  Usually some sort of fantasy play (train tracks, or a farm or a doll house, etc).  Often play dough, puzzles and other focused play items.  They go outside to the attached park, have a snack, and a story circle each day.  It took awhile for Bella to begin to connect with the kids but she is slowly gaining familiarity with them.  It is still a relatively slow drop of (typically 5-10 minutes now) but I know she is not upset when I leave.  She is always happy to go which I take as a very good sign.  I originally thought she should go 3 days a week, going up to 4 next year in preparation for 5 days a week preschool the following year.  Right now, 2 days is more than enough, though we also have gymnastics on a third day.  We will see how the next year and a half go. I know insane amounts of growth happen between now and five, but it is hard to imagine in such a short amount of time that she will be ready to begin real school.  Time will tell I suppose!  Here is my sweet girl on her first day.

The final update- Gio's First Birthday!  I can hardly believe my little man is one already!  As I consider the likelihood that this is my last baby, every milestone is bittersweet.  He shows more and more personality every day.  He is a little ham and quite the Casanova.  He looks you straight in the eye and melts your heart.  At the last moment (one week to be exact) we decided to have the big bash for Gio's first.  It was Halloween themed, particularly focusing on the pumpkin.  You can read all about it here.  It was a sweet day.  Dinner and cake and loved ones.  Nothing crazy.  A couple of photos of the big one year old.

Happy First Birthday Gio

Dear Giancarlo,

Today, you turned one. You are my miracle baby. You decided you were ready to join this family even when we weren't expecting you. I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that you were going to be here, solidly, strongly and very present. You certainly have not proven me wrong.

You came into this world and have made sure we all knew you were here from the very first moment. You gave me a week of being "easy" and promptly shared your voice loud and proud.

Every day you become funnier and funnier. You make this scrunchy face that cracks me up. You've begun finding the words to go with that big voice of yours. You babble up a storm every chance you get now. We are fairly certain you've said Bella, dog, ball, baby, mama and dada. But nothing so clearly and intentionally that I'm quite ready to call one "your first word". You've been crawling for months but weren't interested in walking until recently. Now you are so close I'm sure it will be any day now. You have four teeth. You are amazingly laser focused. When you have a goal you won't let anything deter you. No is simply not in your vocabulary.

This last year has been exceptionally challenging and amazing. I've loved getting to know you and can't wait to see you as you grow from baby to kid in the next year. I see big things for you kiddo. Big things to match your big smile.

I love you. Happy first birthday!

Love,
Mama
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preschool!

We officially have a big girl here!  Bella started preschool today.  It is only two days a week for two and a half hours, but it is preschool.  We show up, she plays, I leave.

Day one went well.  On the way there, she told me I was to leave her there.  Once we arrived, she informed me I was to stay.  I told her I would stay as long as she needed me to.  She got busy playing and I went outside.  After an hour I checked in with the teachers who told me to go ahead and leave (I had a cranky baby on my hands who wanted out of the Ergo and needed a nap).  So I did.  Bella asked for me once when they went out to the playground, the teachers told her I was walking around, and she was fine.  I picked her up when school was over and she was happy to see me though not desperately so.  She told me she forgot to paint and she needed to do that before we left.  She had seen painting stations at other preschools so she figured that was part of the deal.  I told her they didn't have painting today, but I imagined another day they would paint.  We went home and at lunch and took a nap.

On the surface, it seemed like it went well.  Underneath, my gut tells me a different story.  On the way to the car she wasn't listening very well.  Her behavior was questionable for the rest of the day, and she seemed... high strung.  To be fair, she was EXHAUSTED.  Last week we were at Disney (more on that later) and we were busy all weekend too.  She was so tired.  Then playing all morning certainly would have pushed her over the edge in exhaustion.  My gut still tells me that she was just emotionally and mentally stressed with the grown-upness of it all.  I'm prepared for her to not want me to leave at all on Friday, or next week.  Ultimately though it is a sweet sweet school and the teachers are lovely.  I believe it is a very nice setting for her first school experience.  My hope for her is to make one good friend and gain a little confidence and independence.  I think she will get more than that, but we shall see.

This girl amazes me.  Truly, she is sweet and kind and funny and smart.  I am so very very lucky to call myself her mama.

Growing Up!

It's official, my big girl starts preschool this fall.  I mailed the check and committed us to a local school two days a week.  She will only go for "normal" preschool hours- in other words, mornings.  I will pick her up at noon for lunch (and hopefully nap!).  If she loves it, and we love it, and all is well, we may increase to three days a week later in the school year.  For now it will be just a few hours a week that I can spend one on one with Gio, and Bella gets to do art and music and play with new friends we haven't met yet (her words).  She will also continue with her gymnastics class, though has aged up to an independent class (no parent participation anymore).  Once we are in the swing of school, I might look to add a dance or music class to the regimen too.  Gio will also get to start gymnastics after his birthday.  I can't believe how big my kiddos are getting.  They amaze me (and exhaust and challenge me) every single day.  I am so lucky to be their mama.

One year

One year ago today I was proclaimed cancer free.  One year ago today I underwent surgery for a single mastectomy.  How did I spend my day today?  Getting a 3D ultrasound of my little boy, and I will follow it up with an Aerosmith concert.  Seems appropriate right? ;)  Here are some pictures of our little man.

These boots

Bella is officially walking.  I've been hesitant to make that statement despite the fact that she has been taking steps for quite a while now.  However, she would only walk between people and with encouragement.  Over the last week she has started walking all over the place, more and more each and every day.  The best part is when she is really having fun practicing her walking, she will go between two people and give "attack hugs" where she sort of roars at you while coming full speed ahead and grabs you in a great big hug.  I am going to have to figure out how to get a video of this because it is just way too cute. =)

Happy Birthday!

Dearest Isabella,

Today, you turn one!  Since the moment you were born, you brightened my world.  Here is a quick overview of what you are up to as of today.

Currently you are beginning to talk, saying important things like pool and dog.  You crawl all over the place, and can pull up (and climb!) on just about anything.  You are strong and can walk with something to hold on to.  You could probably walk on your own if you tried, but you aren't quite there yet.  You have six teeth (that I know of!), four on top and two on bottom.  You love butterflies, dogs (especially your own), swimming, birds, and most of all- people.  You are the happiest baby I know.  You talk and laugh and smile most of the time.  You are quite opinionated though and strong in your opinions.  You love your cousin Mia, probably the most of anyone you know.  You give lots of hugs and kisses though (when you're in the mood anyway) to the rest of us.

Sweet Bella, I love you.  I can't wait to watch you grow up into the amazing, strong, beautiful, kind woman that I know you are going to be.  Today we celebrate you.  We had you surrounded with friends and family from all over, and you played and laughed and had a wonderful time.  You are a lucky little girl my sweet.  Count your blessings daily and remember that you are loved,

To many more years,
Mommy

Missing Milestones!

I've been a terrible blogger- both for my cancer journey, and for Isabella!  Before it is too far gone I must note an important milestone for my baby girl.

Isabella is beginning to talk.

What is the official first word?

Pool.

Yes, as in swimming pool.

On the day of my last chemo treatment, my dad had just brought me home and was holding Isabella.  She was facing me and the window to our back yard.  She began pointing towards me and verbalizing.  At first we thought she wanted me (since I had just gotten home), but we quickly realized that she was in fact pointing at the swimming pool and saying "pool".  We had been swimming quite a bit in the hot weather that we had been having and she loves to swim.  Clearly, she wanted to go out to the pool!

Since then she has clearly said "dog" when pointing to a dog, and repeated countless words as we feed them to her, including bird, Sadie, and cat.  Mama and Dada have of course also happened though there was never a clear moment that those would be first words.  She is also starting to make a "nonono" sound which seems to be for nonnie/noni and some version of Mia for her cousin (who she LOVES).

Ironically she is also starting to sign a little bit now that she is using verbal language.  Months of signing to her, to no avail, and now it starts at the same time as talking!  Well, communication is communication in my book.  It is really fun as she starts to realize she can fully engage her world.

The Importance of a First Birthday

I've been a little sentimental this week over Bella's birthday.  I get upset easily and feel almost stressed as I think about Saturday.  I like to blame the party, but the fact of the matter is that the first birthday is a big deal, plain and simple.

So what is so important about a first birthday?  Why is it so important to have a celebration?

As a mom, the first year is exceptionally hard.  It is amazing and wonderful too, but the challenges you face in your first year of motherhood are unlike anything else you will experience in your life.  There's the sleep deprivation of course.  The continuous fears about how you are going to protect this perfect little being.  The worries about whether or not you are "doing it right".  The hours of a crying baby that you just don't know what is wrong, or maybe you do but there's nothing you can do about it.  The reality that someone else's needs come before your own- all the time.  The shift from being an autonomous being to being constantly connected (physically, mentally or emotionally) to another being.  The pressures added to your relationships (spouse, friends, family).  The growing pains of creating space for the largest love you have experienced to date.

This is my inadequate attempt at putting the first year of motherhood into words.  It is truly indescribable in so many ways.  So back to the birthday.

The first birthday is a celebration of survival.  It is the acknowledgement that you have loved, protected and supported a new life while figuring out major changes in your own.  It is a sign that your tiny baby, who couldn't even hold its own head up one short year ago, is now becoming its own person, perhaps walking and talking even.

Certainly the first birthday is a celebration of this wonderful little person.  Without question I want to celebrate my sweet little girl.  The truth though, is that the first birthday is a celebration with me.  Of me perhaps even a little.  I can say, "I did it.  I made it through the first year."

This is particularly poignant for me for a number of reasons.  The first, clearly, is the fact that I've been battling cancer for the last five months.  I've managed to continue to mother my baby (perhaps less than I would have liked, but its all relative these days), in the face of a life threatening illness.  Prior to my current battle, I fought harder than I've ever fought for anything, to provide breastmilk for my baby.  Isabella may never understand or appreciate how hard I fought for that, but it is a trophy in my heart that I carry with me.  All of this in addition to the "normal" challenges that new parenthood offers.

So this Saturday, I celebrate.  I celebrate my sweet daughter who is strong and smart and funny and beautiful and kind.  I celebrate my husband for being an amazing father to our daughter, loving and laughing and playing, while still being breadwinner, husband, friend, son, boss, employee, and self.  Finally, I celebrate myself.  For all of the reasons listed above and many more.

For those of you who will be here to celebrate with me, I look forward to it.  It may be a little bittersweet as my baby grows up, but it is something worth celebrating.

Busy Bees

I've been a terrible blogger I know.  Honestly, I've been busy living my life, not watching it from the couch (or bed, or whatever other horizontal surface is holding me).  I finished chemo exactly two weeks ago.  The following week was brutal.  I had a great deal of bone pain and neuropathy and just pure exhaustion.  Gratefully my attitude wasn't too bad since I knew it was the last time I was going to experience that.  I did start to get a little antsy towards the end of the week, but only because we were leaving for vacation on Sunday and I had a lot to do to prepare!

Sunday came and Nick, Bella, Lorraine and I hopped in our car and drove down to Disneyland.  Bella was a trooper.  It certainly helped that she had Noni Lorraine in the backseat with her, but she napped well and didn't fuss too much, despite being stuck in the car for 7 hours.  When we reached the Disneyland Hotel, Bella was sleeping.  She woke up a little cranky when we parked to unload (understandably since it was past her bedtime), but we walked her over to the giant Mickey statue and she went nuts.  She loved Mickey and was blowing him kisses and talking up a storm.  Here is a picture of Bella and Noni Lorraine with Mickey.

We spent the next two days relaxing by the pool, and visiting with some of Nick's family.  His dad Kenny, Aunts Jean and Diane and Uncles Art and Orlo all live in southern California and came to visit with us.  None of them had met Bella before so we had some fun introducing our sweet girl to them.

Me, Aunt Diane, Isabella, Uncle Art, Aunt Jean, Uncle Orlo, and Nick

Grandpa Kenny and Isabella

On Tuesday night, Nicks brothers and their girlfriends joined us and Wednesday we began the Disneyland Park madness.  We spent three days at the parks and Isabella LOVED every second of it.  She loved the characters most.  Every time she saw any of the characters she started talking up a storm. 

She also loved the Tiki Room.  Of course we had a feeling since she loves looking at birds when we are out and about, and this is a room full of singing birds!  Most days she just looked around taking it all in.  She would nap in the ergo carrier while we were still at the park, and back at the hotel for a mid-day nap each day.  She actually slept through the haunted mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the entire Fantasmic show.  She fell asleep during the fireworks display even!  I can safely say that we have a traveler on our hands.  She loves new places and people and being busy out in the world.  She has little patience for sitting around the house but is happy as a clam when we take her out to see the world.  It will be interesting to see how this goes as she gets older too.

The trip was truly wonderful and exactly what we needed.  I got to feel sort of "normal" for a few days, just running around at Disney with my family.  We had a ton of fun and a little relaxation too.  Lorraine had us stay at the Grand Californian which is right on the Disney property with its own entry to California Adventure.  It was so convenient and made being there with a baby totally doable.

We arrived home on Saturday evening, just in time to cheer my sister Sarah across the finish line of the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer on Sunday.  She walked 40 miles in two days.  Crazy.  And she did it fast!  She raised over $5000 for the walk, which is pretty awesome too.  We are talking about doing the walk together next year.  It could be fun!  Hard to see much past the end of my nose these days though.

Next up is Isabella's first birthday!  We will have a big bbq in celebration.  I have quite a bit to do between now and then, but nothing too crazy.  A little housecleaning and food preparation.  Nothing like what I did for Nick's birthday!  But it will be fun all the same.  I'm looking forward to getting everyone together to celebrate my sweet girl.  I continue to feel so lucky to have her.

Then after that- surgery.  It is officially scheduled for August 4th.  I'm admittedly feeling nervous about it, but trying not to future trip.  I want this cancer done and gone.  I'm over this process and it getting in the way of my life.  Almost there.  This is my own version of 40 miles I guess.  I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually, I will get there.



Catch up

I've definitely been off my game writing this week.  Bella has officially begun crawling which has definitely changed my life!  She started crawling a little bit here and there a couple of weeks ago, but never more than just a few scoots at a time.  Last week we officially had crawling across the room- but only with motivation (a much desired toy or other interesting object).  Then on Tuesday or Wednesday before Nick's birthday party, she just up and started crawling, no motivation required.  She is now a crawling machine.  See!

This of course happened right as we were preparing for Nick's birthday party, and then it was time for treatment.  So I've fallen down on my duty as mommy this week in chronicling Isabella's development.  I think I'll give myself a break this time though! =)

She is already pulling up constantly on everything that she can and desperate to walk (or run!).  She is also already going up the stairs we have in the house (gratefully only one or two here and there, no actual flights!).  Didn't take her long to figure out how to get her knees up on the step and pull herself up.  What was that about life changing!?!? =)

Other than that this has been an okay week.  The accumulative nature of chemo has definitely caught up with me.  I have been pretty tired this week, though started feeling like I was on my way back yesterday.  Of course then Bella was up every half hour last night (teething perhaps?) so now it is hard to say since that pretty much destroyed me.  Admittedly I'm feeling emotionally wiped out too.  It is tough to keep my head up when I'm trying to simply find the energy to get through the day.

Yesterday though, I had a little help with that.  Two of my girlfriends sent me flowers and the sweetest note for Mother's Day.  It was so unexpected and reminded me how lucky I am.  So thank you Laura and Colleen!  That was so very sweet of you.  On top of that my dad has been working on our fence this week.  Our back fence is all ivy and has been probably since it was built.  We knew when we bought our house that it would need to be replaced eventually because the ivy really was the fence.  This summer that was going to be our project, and we asked my dad if he wouldn't mind managing it (under the circumstances).  This week, he just dove in and started it.  Which also means that we will have a new fence very soon!

I know that I'm sort of rambling at this point so I won't continue with my nonsense.  I just wanted to catch up a little bit and acknowledge Bella's big milestone!  I hope all the moms out there have a wonderful day tomorrow!

Houston...

We have teeth!  Well, a tooth.  Bella cut her first tooth sometime between last night and this morning.  Poor thing has been sleeping terribly for the last three nights (we're talking up nearly every hour) so I am grateful that the tooth is through.  I expect a second to follow soon as I understand they typically arrive in pairs.

Every milestone is a little bittersweet for me.  I am so excited (I was seriously giddy this morning when I discovered her tooth) but then get a little sad thinking about how quickly her life is going.  I know I will have more babies and will experience this again, but there is something special about the first.  At any rate, it is such a wonderful joy to celebrate life's little milestones with my baby girl!

No pictures showing the tooth, but here's one of my big girl relaxing with a bottle in Panera!

Yay Bella!!!

I have to post some non-cancer related news as well. =)  And this deserves a post of its own darnit!

Bella has learned to clap.  She will "clap" (soundlessly still) and she looks so proud of herself when she does it.  So we have started clapping with her when we see her clapping and saying "yay Bella!!!".  This of course brings on more clapping and more adorable pride.  This little girl is just such an angel baby.  She is certainly my angel baby.

I have to say she is also getting really good at picking things up and doing with them as she pleases.  Today she spent the day at my dad's house while we were running around to doctors appointments.  When we arrived to pick her up we sat her on the floor for a minute while we filled in my dad on the days news.  She sat and played with her toys (a small pot, a wooden spoon, a wooden reamer and her binky).  As I was sitting on the floor playing with her, I realized she had picked up her binky several times, put it in her mouth (correctly), taken it back out, played with it, discarded it, and found it again.  This is a new skill for sure.  She's been trying to put the binky in her mouth for months, but usually ended up with the wrong part in her mouth. 

Another new "trick" is her ability to find her butterflies in any room.  Isabella has long loved her butterflies (they were on a mobile above her changing table until she got too big for it).  I placed several on the ceiling in her room above the rocking chair and now Nick has taken several and placed them around the house in various locations.  We can ask her "Bella, where are the butterflies?" and she will look around and find them.  She knows where they are in some rooms (like her bedroom).  It is very sweet.  I can see her growing and getting smarter and smarter every single day.

How lucky I am to have such a joy in my life.  Here are some pictures from the last couple of days of my sweet angel baby.

Six Months!

How appropriate- this is my 100th post and it is all about Isabella's first six months...

I am a few days late I realize, but Isabella turned six months old on January 23rd!  I can't believe how fast it has gone.  My baby is growing up so much every single day.  I thought I would give an update about where she is developmentally and what has happened in her first six months.

- She is sitting up almost entirely by herself now.  She can sit up very well and for quite a while, though will topple over eventually and can't get back up on her own.

- She has had two colds.  =(

- Officially in her own crib now, at least for the first half of the night!  (Mommy needs sleep too and too many trips down the hall, or a lengthy attempt to get Bella back to sleep does not bode well for the next day!)  She doesn't seem to mind going to sleep in her own crib at all.  If she was sleeping through the night I suspect we could take down the co-sleeper altogether.

- Isabella has a fabulous wardrobe that just keeps getting better!  A fashionista at 6 months!

- Bella's first plane trip was in December to Las Vegas!  She did great and LOVED the stimulation.  She also met Auntie Katie, Uncle Brian, and Cousins Vinnie and Dominic!  Dominic is only about 6 weeks older than Bella!

- The dogs are her favorite.  She loves saying hi to them and gets quite upset when they walk away from her.

- The car seat is no longer the enemy.  Usually Bella can entertain herself looking out the windows, playing with her toys, or just goes to sleep.  Thank goodness!  Mommy really couldn't take the screaming in the car much longer!

- Bella is still exceptionally social and LOVES to visit new people.  She does have moments of "stranger danger" from time to time though and turns on the waterworks if she is with anyone but mommy or daddy.

- We are taking a Sign and Sing class with the fabulous Susan Z and Bella LOVES the music.  She isn't signing back yet, but we're working on it.  I feel like it is starting to click a little.

- Isabella is very opinionated and lets you know quickly if she isn't happy with something.  I wouldn't call her a fussy baby, just a feisty one!

- Crawling is on the horizon, I can see it!  Whenever we go to music class or mommy group or anything with bigger babies/kids that are crawling or walking, Bella is desperate to get in on the action.  She doesn't mind being on her tummy at that time and she sits there flapping her arms and legs sure it is going to get her somewhere.  If she is standing or sitting, she wants to lunge out with the big kids!

- I am certain that Bella will be a talker.  She babbles so much and seems like she has so much to say!  It isn't her fault if I just can't understand her yet...

- Foods tried so far: Sweet potatoes, oatmeal, banana, avocado, apple sauce, pears, prunes, butternut squash and puffs.  She is only moderately interested in eating her own food so it is still just for the experience once a day.  She still loves to watch other people eat though, so hopefully as she gets bigger and can handle larger foods, she will get more interested.  As they say, no one goes to college still drinking formula! =)

- Bella is much happier going out of the house during the day than staying in all day, no matter how much mommy tries to play with her.  She is just a social little girl and loves the added stimulation!  I see many playgroups and classes in our future to keep mommy sane!

That's all I can think of for now.  Isabella is such a joy to be around.  She is so feisty but such a happy baby.  She loves to laugh and smile and can have a good time doing just about anything.  She is incredibly opinionated, but lets face it- no one is surprised by that.  The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree (either of them!).  She is just a little love though.

I can't imagine my life without her anymore, and truly can't wait to watch her grow up and into the wonderful person I am certain she will be.  I am sad probably daily at how quickly time is going already and wonder where my tiny baby went, but it is a real joy seeing this person emerge.  I feel lucky to know her already.

First Food

The day after Christmas we gave Isabella her first "food".  She enjoyed (I use the term loosely) some baby oatmeal.  She was not terribly excited by it.  I can't really blame her though.  Who wants grainy milk?  Let's face it, that's all baby cereal is.  So after trying again the next day, I decided to forget cereal and skip straight to starter foods.  Next up, was sweet potato.  Bella found this much more interesting though still only took a few bites before being done with the experience.

Since then she has enjoyed some avocado, and banana.  Banana is the clear favorite for now.  Today she ate an entire container of banana!

So we have begun the process of eating real foods and watching our little baby grow up before our eyes.  It is amazing how fast time goes.  I could swear she is still a tiny little thing who just needs to nap in her mama's arms, but alas, she grows more and more every day into her own little person.  She continues to be a personality and a half and thinks her daddy is the funniest person on the planet.  She is fascinated by the dogs and loves to watch them and pet them when they come close.

This month marks her half year birthday.  I don't know how it happened so quickly, but here we are.  I'm amazed every day by her beautiful life and the joy that she brings us.  We are so lucky to have this little girl in our lives.

Sweet Potato!

 

Avocado!

New Year's Eve Party Girl!

Disney Girl!

Baby's First... Holidays!

I cannot believe how long it has been since I last posted.  We have enjoyed Thanksgiving, a trip to Las Vegas, and Christmas!  Isabella is 5 months old.  I don't know where the time has gone.  So before I get ahead of myself, let me back track...

November was a little bit of a rough month as I let go of my breastfeeding goals.  We did pretty well keeping up with my supply until the week of Thanksgiving I was hit with a nasty stomach flu.  What they say about illness affecting your milk supply- it's all true!  Anyhow I'll talk more about that later.  So then it was time for Thanksgiving!

This was Bella's first experience at a big holiday party.  She did fairly well, but it was a little overwhelming for her.  She needed to be taken into a quiet room periodically just to settle down.  I can understand how stimulating it can be surrounded by so many people laughing and talking, even if they do all love you.  She was the same way for both the Thanksgiving party on Thursday at her Noni Lorraine's and at the Saturday after at Grandpa Dennis'.  Happy one moment and screaming the next.  But we tried to keep her happy with regular naps and removing her from the party from time to time.

Then it was my birthday!  Nick and I went to dinner at Auberge du Soleil in Napa, which was a fabulous dining experience.  It was also our first real date night.  Bella stayed home with Noni Lorraine.

Next up was our trip to Las Vegas for Nick's company Christmas party!  I was a little nervous about flying between tighter TSA procedures and having a baby on the plane.  Bella did great though.  She needed a little extra entertainment on the flight out there to stay happy, but she did great, and then although she was cranky on the way home, she slept the whole plane ride.  The actual trip was great too.  Bella really enjoyed herself in Vegas!  All the lights and colors and sounds- it was like ADD baby paradise!  We also scheduled a family photo shoot with our fabulous wedding photographer Ron Miller.  He captured some amazing shots of Bella, and really nailed her personality.  I can't wait to look back at these photos with her when she is older.  Some of her expressions are hilarious!  Best of all we got to spend time with our friends the Shelahs and have the babies meet each other.  Dominic and Bella are only 6 weeks apart, so it was pretty fun to see the two of them together. 

What happened next has changed my immediate future entirely.  I quit my job.  Yep- I am officially staying home with Miss Bella.  It is wonderful and daunting all at the same time.  I am so grateful to be home with her for these important moments, but also unsure of what this will look like.  I've worked pretty much my entire life since high school, so to have an identity that isn't somewhat connected to what I "do" is a new experience.  I'm sure I'll adjust!

Immediately after quitting my job and returning from our trip, it was time to start preparing the house for the holidays!  We were hosting Christmas Eve so we had to clean (have I mentioned how hard it is to keep house when you are occupied by a baby all day???), decorate, and do those extra party prep tasks such as getting out the extra tables and chairs.  It quite literally took me all month and a lot of extra hands to accomplish all of the tasks at hand.  But we made it and celebrated Isabella's first Christmas!

Christmas Eve was a success.  Bella has really grown up so much.  She enjoyed the party immensely, frequently being passed around between grandparents and aunties and uncles and cousins.  She would get fussy and go take a nap in her cosleeper and return to the party much happier.  She wore a lovely Christmas party dress showing her holiday spirit, and enjoyed "opening" her first Christmas presents including books, clothes, and new toys!  Such a lucky girl.  Christmas day was spent relaxing at home with just the three of us.  We were all pretty wiped out from the party.  We did get to go to my sister Sarah's house for a quiet dinner with their family and my mom.  A perfect first Christmas for our sweet girl.

So much has happened it is hard to believe that it has been five months already.  I feel like I just brought Bella home from the hospital and at the same time like she has been with us forever.  She grows by leaps and bounds every day.  We are getting ready for some major milestones- starting "solid" foods, moving to her crib in her own room, setting a "schedule" for naps and bedtime.  So much to do in the next few weeks!  We are also starting with some baby sign language and hoping that she will starting signing too.  She is certainly aware of what things are and that she wants to express her opinions.

So there is an update on all things Bella.  I will try really hard to not wait so long till my next post, but can't help it when this baby life is so fun to live! =)  Until next time!

Belly ache

Poor Bella had her first real belly ache last night. Several hours of comfort eating, fussing and ultimately screaming told us the poor girl was hurting. Finally at about 4 am she had been comforted and relaxed and finally fell asleep. It made for a very long night for this mommy but I just felt awful for her. I keep going over the foods I ate that might have done it but I cant think of what it might be! Hopefully we can avoid it again for a good long time though! And hopefully we get a solid afternoon nap in too!!!

Week One

After four nights in the hospital- two for induction and two for recovery, it was a HUGE relief to finally come home.  Nick and I both teared up a little on the car ride home as the reality of our beautiful new life settled in.  Early in my pregnancy I had a conversation with a girlfriend about how we just couldn't believe that women "forget" pregnancy, labor and delivery as soon as they hold their little ones.  Well I can now say that you most definitely do not forget anything.  It was 9 months of trials and tribulations and to end that with two days of induction, labor and let's not forget about the fun of recovery post delivery!  My point isn't how hard it is, but that it is in fact worth it.  It is hard to believe that I made something so, well, perfect.  A tiny perfect human life came from that work.

Anyhow, this post is supposed to be about the first week, not how mentally my life has been turned upside down! =)

In the hospital we did pretty well.  Isabella was eating well and sleeping well, and was overall a very easy baby.  I was struggling a little with recovery thanks to my extra tears, but we were managing well.  Once we arrived home I felt confident that things would continue on that same path.  Of course, true to her in utero behavior, Isabella just wasn't going to have that! =)  The first night home she screamed on and off for about 7 hours.  We were on a 20 minute cycle of settling her down and having her work back up again.  Ultimately it was that she was hungry and was so worked up she wouldn't or couldn't latch.  We finally gave in and gave her an ounce of formula that we luckily had on hand from a freebie bag.  I was broken over this.  All those hours of screaming and I couldn't feed my baby?  I was heartbroken to say the least.  But after she had a full tummy and a little rest, I was able to get her to latch on in the morning.  We also happened to have a doctors appointment scheduled that day and they brought in the lactation consultant for me.

After that, it felt like we had a new baby.  I was given a nipple shield, which essentially turns your breast into a bottle.  My shape makes it difficult for my tiny baby's mouth to latch on quickly, and she happens to be very impatient adding to the challenge.  So now she has something to latch onto quickly, which usually results in a quick start to the feeding.  Unfortunately now I feel a bit tied to it, so the next step as she gets a bit bigger and hopefully a tiny bit more patient will be to ween her off the shield and back onto the breast.  But we're taking it one step at a time.  Right now I just want to make sure my quickly growing baby is getting everything she needs.  And really, she is getting breast milk still which is the most important thing.

Other important things about the first week?  She is a great sleeper generally speaking.  Sleeps most of the day in fact.  She has even given us a couple of long rests, 4.5 hours and last night we even got 6 hours from start of feeding to start of feeding!  (So really more like 5+ hours of actual sleep...)  I know they say newborns are "supposed" to eat every 0-3 hours, especially on breast milk, but I tried waking her up to feed and found that a fussy baby that has been woken up is just as difficult to feed as one that is too hungry.  So I am letting her tell me when she wants to eat and just watching for those early signs.  She is a sleeper like her mom and dad so as soon as she starts stirring I know it is time to get her eating.  So far mostly so good.  We did have one rough night again a couple of nights ago, but it was just a learning experience for us to figure out her signs.  She didn't need to eat but was crying like she did.  Turned out she was just over tired (we'd had several visits that day) and needed some extra comfort.  Her tummy was probably working hard too, which also doesn't help.  Once we gave the "happiest baby" method a real effort, we had a sleeping and quiet girl.

Every day is a learning experience.  We are definitely still figuring out who this little person is and how she communicates her needs.  It's so easy to want to listen to the "experts" about what the baby is "supposed" to be doing, especially when you are struggling.  Ultimately though I feel like we have a pretty good connection with Isabella and we are figuring out what she needs.  Mostly that is working. =)

Nick goes back to work on Friday so I am trying to enjoy every second of our family time before that happens.  I can't believe how fast it all is going!  I'm also hoping my body decides to heal itself just a tad quicker so I can feel more functional when it is time for me to be on my own.  I guess I can always call in reinforcements if I am just not ready.  Thank goodness for our wonderful family and friends!  I know there is a safety net if I need it.

With that, I'll leave you with a picture of our beautiful girl.