Halloween!

I already gave you pictures, but I realized I should document this Halloween as it was full of firsts!  This year was the first time Bella had full say over her costume.  She wanted to be like her cousin and requested a witch (Elphaba specifically) with a green face and all.  We test ran that at her preschool Halloween party the day before the holiday.  Her school is at a community center so her class all met in their room, lined up and went trick or treating at the rec center's front desk, and around the corner at the fire station.  Then they went back to the classroom for some snacks and play.  It was awfully cute.

Green Faced Elphaba

 

With her impish brother

 

 

Practice trick or treating!

The whole class

 

So scary! =)

On Halloween proper we decided that the all over green make-up was not very comfortable.  Bella went back and forth about it, but after seeing me finish my make up for my day of the dead costume asked for red lips.  I told her she could have red lips only if we didn't have green all over her face.  So she opted for green eyes and a painted on spiderweb and star.  I personally loved it and might use the design myself someday.  Then we went out to my sisters house for a Halloween dinner with their neighbors and finally out for Bella's very first REAL trick or treating.  We went up and down a main street near my sisters house that is so packed on Halloween they might as well shut the road down.  I thought Bella would get nervous with the crowds and having to greet strangers but I was mistaken.  After the first house she realized it was fun and these people gave her candy.  She was a pro by the end of the night.  And asleep before we got home! =)  I'm sure that Gio will get in on the action next year.

pretty witch!

 

dia de los muertos

 

Mommy and handsome devil

 

The whole family!

 

Check out my loot mom!

Surgery

The date is finally set!  Round one of reconstruction is scheduled.  November 19th I will be undergoing an exchange surgery.  This means that I will have my expander removed and an implant placed.  I had really hoped to skip this step and just deal with my (very uncomfortable) expander until I was ready for the DIEP procedure.  If you've been following me since my cancer days, you may recall that the DIEP surgery takes tissue from my abdomen (did someone say tummy tuck?) and build a living tissue breast out of it using microsurgery techniques.  Modern medicine is truly amazing sometimes.  Anyhow that surgery is MAJOR and requires several days in the hospital (ICU actually) as they have to carefully watch the tissue that is moved to ensure that the bloodflow takes and it doesn't go necrotic.  Then of course recovery from there involves my newly reconstructed breast, my abdomen and the other breast which will be lifted to match.  Not exactly something I'm prepared to deal with while I have two young children.  Probably something that will have to wait until they are in school and semi-self sufficient.

While waiting for that surgery didn't sound great either (did I mention how horribly uncomfortable the expander is?) avoiding an "extra" surgery was my preference.  Alas, my expander popped earlier this year.  I thought I might be able to still wait it out, at least for awhile, but I have become increasingly self-conscious of my extreme lopsidedness.  It wasn't good before (I still had to stuff my bra), but now its a joke.  I'm practically concave on the cancer side.  Compared to my still-breast feeding melon of a breast, I look like I'm always turning to my right.

I finally faced my (recent) fear of surgery and will be slaying this reconstruction dragon for now.  Wish me luck!

And for your viewing pleasure- Halloween with the Gauthiers.

Bella Witch- (Elphaba), the prettiest witch I know

The whole family, witch, dia de los muertos, handsome devil and Miami vice 80s something

 

Handsome Devil and Day of the Dead

Pinktober

We are two thirds done with Pinktober, aka breast cancer awareness month.  I used to feel really good every October, participating in a local benefit, buying pink things, and usually remembering to do a couple of self exams.  Now, as a survivor, I experience a level of anxiety and aggravation everywhere I go.  I am reminded daily (or more) of the monster I still carry on my back.  I can't shake the fear and worry about my own health for the future.  I also struggle with the increasing "overawareness" of this disease.  Cancer, particularly breast cancer, is BIG business.  People make so incredibly much money off of something that nearly destroyed me and my family and takes wonderful, amazing women out every single day.  What's worse are all the people that think buying something with a pink label on it actually helps.  It isn't the people I judge, but the companies who pinkwash their goods in the name of awareness, without donating one red cent to the cause. 

Anyhow, my point of this post was not to complain about the month of October (which include my amazing son's birthday AND Halloween, who couldn't love that?)... But to share with you that there is a vaccine in the works for triple negative breast cancer!  It is moving into clinical trials for humans in 2015.  AMAZING!  Exciting!  Here's who I learned about it from:
http://triplenegativebc.blogspot.com/2013/10/more-developments-on-vaccine.html

Serious Catch Up- Part 2 Preschool and Gios Birthday!

I realized I needed to split these posts up.  They were just going to be too massive in one.  I suppose the smart thing would have required writing individual posts, but c'est la vie.

After returning home from Disney, we hit the ground running and started straight in for Bella's preschool.  She goes two days a week for two and a half hours.  Fairly small amount of time but it has proven to be exactly perfect for her.  The school she goes to is strictly a school.  There is no day care or extended hours.  In fact, it is in a local recreation center, so they actually set up and take down each of the rooms every day.  There are usually 5-7 stations set up each day.  Always an art project that each child gets to rotate through with the teacher.  Usually some sort of fantasy play (train tracks, or a farm or a doll house, etc).  Often play dough, puzzles and other focused play items.  They go outside to the attached park, have a snack, and a story circle each day.  It took awhile for Bella to begin to connect with the kids but she is slowly gaining familiarity with them.  It is still a relatively slow drop of (typically 5-10 minutes now) but I know she is not upset when I leave.  She is always happy to go which I take as a very good sign.  I originally thought she should go 3 days a week, going up to 4 next year in preparation for 5 days a week preschool the following year.  Right now, 2 days is more than enough, though we also have gymnastics on a third day.  We will see how the next year and a half go. I know insane amounts of growth happen between now and five, but it is hard to imagine in such a short amount of time that she will be ready to begin real school.  Time will tell I suppose!  Here is my sweet girl on her first day.

The final update- Gio's First Birthday!  I can hardly believe my little man is one already!  As I consider the likelihood that this is my last baby, every milestone is bittersweet.  He shows more and more personality every day.  He is a little ham and quite the Casanova.  He looks you straight in the eye and melts your heart.  At the last moment (one week to be exact) we decided to have the big bash for Gio's first.  It was Halloween themed, particularly focusing on the pumpkin.  You can read all about it here.  It was a sweet day.  Dinner and cake and loved ones.  Nothing crazy.  A couple of photos of the big one year old.

Serious Catch Up- Part 1 Disney and Family Photos

My goodness I have not been on it with keeping up to date here.  I have some time tonight and hope to (sort of) correct that.  So, here we go. =)

First things first.  I mentioned we did a little family photo shoot back in August.  The pictures are lovely.  Here are some sneak peeks for you!

And the best part?  These aren't even the best ones!  So many adorable pictures of my littles.  But I have to save the best ones for our holiday cards! =)  We spent the day out at Tomales Bay visiting Hog Island Oyster Company and the Marshall Store.  Good food, and beautiful pictures.  I also had Ron Miller take some photos of the kids in Nick's corvette since we are working towards selling the car even though we do love it.  This was a way to capture its beauty in our family.

Early September we found ourselves traveling down to southern California for a family vacation at Disneyland.  We visited with Nick's Aunts and Uncles down there and played at the "happiest place on Earth" for a few days.  It was a very nice week.  Something I realized we need to do more often.  It is too too easy to get caught up in the craziness of daily life, especially with two young children.  To take some time to just get away from it all is so important.  The kids particularly benefit from some relaxed time with the four of us together.  Bella went on her first big kid rides.  She went on Splash Mountain- twice!  Once with me and once with Nick.  She also went on the Tower of Terror.  She wasn't such a big fan of that.  I think mostly she found the lead up to the ride scary.  If it was a simple elevator ride with no spooky start, she probably would have giggled through the whole thing.  Finally she went on Soarin Over California.  She really liked that too.  She is still waiting to be big enough to go on the roller coasters.  It will be interesting to see how she takes to those!  She is big enough for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, but it was closed for renovations.  I suspect she will LOVE it once she can go on it.  I'm sure there are probably some other stories to tell but frankly, it's been too long for me to remember all the details!  Here are the pictures from Disney...

Happy First Birthday Gio

Dear Giancarlo,

Today, you turned one. You are my miracle baby. You decided you were ready to join this family even when we weren't expecting you. I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that you were going to be here, solidly, strongly and very present. You certainly have not proven me wrong.

You came into this world and have made sure we all knew you were here from the very first moment. You gave me a week of being "easy" and promptly shared your voice loud and proud.

Every day you become funnier and funnier. You make this scrunchy face that cracks me up. You've begun finding the words to go with that big voice of yours. You babble up a storm every chance you get now. We are fairly certain you've said Bella, dog, ball, baby, mama and dada. But nothing so clearly and intentionally that I'm quite ready to call one "your first word". You've been crawling for months but weren't interested in walking until recently. Now you are so close I'm sure it will be any day now. You have four teeth. You are amazingly laser focused. When you have a goal you won't let anything deter you. No is simply not in your vocabulary.

This last year has been exceptionally challenging and amazing. I've loved getting to know you and can't wait to see you as you grow from baby to kid in the next year. I see big things for you kiddo. Big things to match your big smile.

I love you. Happy first birthday!

Love,
Mama